i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
