Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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