you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I didn't notice because vodka
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
