Say something about gay babies.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
