I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
