i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
