im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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