Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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