office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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