Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
