Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
