She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
