i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize