wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I deserve this hangover.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
