Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
