I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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