I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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