More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just gift wrapped bread.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize