I've blown a few things in my day
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
