please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
