Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
