god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
porn star boner night. come get it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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