Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
