he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize