I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
