Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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