Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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