Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
bring money and cleavage
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize