Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
