im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
