dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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