why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize