There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also, beer. Big fan.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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