that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
