No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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