i think i have herpe
just one?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
