Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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