I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
