It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize