my vag is so smooth its legendary
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
