Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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