Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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