you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
