I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i drank out of a bidet.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
