Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Are we still banned from the library?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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