I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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