Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
