Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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