Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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