Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
