dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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