No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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