just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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