Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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