It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
