Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
