Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
