Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
