I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
