i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
