I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
