i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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