I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
