Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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