You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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