I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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