All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
