it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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